I am the oldest of five. But my step-mother refuses to acknowledge me as a member of the family.
I find out about family events through the grapevine. But I am never invited nor welcome to attend.
I try to keep up a a somewhat timid correspondence with my natural father via email. I remind him to wish me a Merry Christmas and a Happy Birthday, lest he forgot he fathered me.
I am tired of being silent.
This is me, screaming:
“I am the secret sister.
The unacknowledged daughter.
The shadow in the absent chair.
The silence of their invisible glare
squelches the query
‘Why, am I not there?’
How I even came to be
Shall remain a mystery.
Even to me, even to me.”
If you are out there, Katy H****, know that your big sister wishes you the best on your wedding day. Perhaps, someday we shall meet.